5. Min (Max’s Non-Binary, Tertiary Partner):
Min is a PhD in biology, and a well renowned researcher in their field of study. They are a second generation Chinese-Canadian, and they are a non-binary person. They were assigned male at birth, but don’t feel that they are only male, they feel they are as much female as they are male, and also neither gender. They are not one or the other.
They don’t feel that they want to change their sex from one gender to another. They do not feel the need for a surgery to change their gender. They simply feel that they are at all times both and neither sex. They are just themselves. They are Min. Even the name Min, which they were given at birth, is a unisex name. It is often given to a female child or a male. A part of them has always secretly felt right with that.
Min struggled with their sexuality all their life, especially when living with their family growing up. Their parents were very traditional, new immigrants to Canada, and not used to living amongst people of different cultures, sexualities, gender identities or lifestyles. Min never felt like they could be themselves with their family.
They are pan-sexual and attracted to people of all genders or sexualities. It is not the person’s gender or sex that matters to Min. It’s all about who the person is inside, and what they do, how they treat people, that’s what matters most to them. Although they tend to be attracted to those who are also in the queer community, because they tend to be more accepting and understanding of them.
A very pivotal moment growing up was when Min’s mother walked in on them and their closest male friend, experimenting with their sexualities. She reacted very badly. After that, Min’s friend was no longer welcome in their home, and Min felt ashamed. It took a very long time after that, for Min to feel comfortable with their own sexuality. And an even longer time, for them to accept who they are, come out to others, or act on their pan-sexual desires again.
Min has been in a relationship with their now-wife Lee, a Japanese-Canadian cis woman, since they were both in high school together. So Lee has know Min since long before they transitioned to their current non-binary self. In high school Min was still dealing with a lot of shame around their sexuality. They always preferred to dress in bright colours, so some people in school would tease them, calling them gay. But at that time, Min was not comfortable being out about it, and would defend their choices as punk rock.
Min only finally felt comfortable enough to come out to Lee after high school. Although Lee always knew there was something different about Min. She suspected that Min may have had some bisexual desires from the start, and that never bothered her. However, Min did not officially come out about their bisexuality, or their non-binary gender expression, until after they finished high school. Min only finally felt able to be themself, once they had moved out of their parents house.
Min and their then-girlfriend Lee, both ended up going to the same university for the same major of biology. Throughout that time, finally out from under the watchful eye of their parents, and in a larger more metropolitan city, Min finally felt safe enough to begin talking openly about their sexuality with Lee.
Min was very afraid that Lee would not understand, and was very surprised to find that Lee had always suspected they were bisexual. She knew that Min would come out and talk about things when they were ready, so she never brought it up. She saw the struggles with peers in high school, and didn’t want to cause more stress.
She is pretty straight herself, never really questioned her sexuality or gender, but has always been supportive of Min’s sexual identity. Although, it was very challenging for both of them at first, as Min made the transition. Especially when Min finally started wearing makeup, sometimes wearing skirts, and began to introduce themselves indicating their gender neutral pronoun.
It took some time for her to train herself out of referring to them as him. Having known them as him, for most of their lives together, this was particularly challenging for her. They have also gone through times of struggle with it socially, in their work, family and social lives, outside of the polycule. However, Lee and Min have always been very patient with one another, and eventually found their way with others as well.
They have a daughter named Star, who called Min “Daddy” for many years when she was little. Min fully transitioned to using the gender neutral pronoun, only after Star was born, and Star was just too young to understand the change at first. But now, they have been living on the ship for nearly ten years, in community with other kids of other gender-nonconforming parents. Star is now 13, very with-it, and supportive of all gender and sexual expressions, because of her alt education. And she chooses to call her biological “father” her: “Zaza”, “Zazie”, or “Zaz”.
Min’s wife Lee, was a high school biology teacher at an alternative school for advanced science and technology, back in Hamilton. And now, she has been managing the creation of the new curriculum for their alternative school system on the new Mars colony.
Lee is working with a number of other teachers who specialize in different disciplines. They have all been working with the principal of Lee’s alternative school, from back in Hamilton, as well as many education specialists from all over the world. They are working to come up with a completely new education system across all subjects. One that will take into consideration the differing learning styles of students, in order to create a learning environment that is optimal for all people.
Min is incredible at play. As a parent they spend hours playing make-believe games with their toddler Star, and going on adventures. They are constantly teaching her new skills and facts, while encouraging her to ask questions, and be free to choose her own interests, and find her own identity. Star is very clear that she is a girl. They have had some really cool conversations about gender, that would blow most parents’ minds, with the understanding children are capable of, even at an early age.
As parents Min and Lee are a pretty incredible team. They love their daughter so much and they would do anything for her. They also give each other space to be and do as they each please, while taking an interest in each other’s lives too. They are an incredible model of poly relationship for Max. She really respects the open relationship that the two of them have created, and she aspires to it in all her partnerships.
Min is extremely affectionate, sexually submissive and a very good communicator. They are extremely intelligent, and full of all kinds of information, on so many different topics, many that are in no way related to their field of biology. They just love knowledge, history, culture, and science. They are so committed to curiosity and learning.
Min’s love of learning and facts, has them get along really well with Alex’s best friend Ron. And Min would probably get along well with Alex too, if Alex could just get over his homophobic bias. If he wasn’t so weird about Min’s sexuality, they could have some awesome conversations about history, philosophy and science. And sometimes every once in a while, when they forget about their differences for a few minutes, they actually do!
But for the most part, Min and Alex have never gotten along very well together. Alex is very uncomfortable with Min’s gender and sexual expression. Alex is very awkward around Min, and therefore Min becomes awkward around him. Politically and socially they do not have anything in common, however they are both very educated, and intelligent people, so they sometimes find themselves accidentally agreeing, or relating over scientific breakthroughs and discoveries.
Max and Lee sometimes look at each other and laugh at how the two of them could really be friends if they could just get past their sexual and gender differences and awkwardness. They both have a vast knowledge of world military and political history, they simply differ in how they believe the world should be, moving forward. This often leads to long arguments, with Max defending Min, and Alex getting frustrated and leaving the conversation to isolate himself in his work.
No one knows what to do about it, and the prospect of leaving Earth on a relatively small ship together, headed for Mars, has things at a bit of a boiling point. Everyone is concerned about how Min and Alex will manage to get along in close quarters, when they can no longer go outside the ship, to get far away from one another.
At this point Min is so frustrated with Alex’s purposeful and aggressive mis-gendering of them, that they will often refer to Alex as Fuck Face, or Ass Hat, instead of Alex. Alex is very good at not letting that bother him very much, and still mis-gendering Min. So Min has been becoming more and more creative with ways to show Alex how offensive he is being.
But at some point Alex is just going to have to get over his shit! And soon! Or not come with them at all! Although, Min knows how hard that would be for Max, and they don’t want to see her upset, or the mission compromised because of it. This is a really tough situation for everyone.
Min is equal parts science and education, plus party and sparkles. For Min, life is a carnival of pleasures, and not to be wasted. They have made some amazing scientific discoveries, they enjoy contributing to the mission from a professional standpoint, but they also came to party, and be themselves. They are not gonna hide who they are anymore.
Extremely flamboyant, silly, giddy and fun. They like to get all dressed up with full sparkles and makeup, on the regular. They are colourful, and they have a big personality. They talk fast and loud, they gesture a lot, they dance, they sing. But they also don’t take no shit from nobody!
If people mis-gender them by accident, no problem, this happens sometimes. Min will just correct the person, and that person will always just apologize and correct themselves. Great. But those who don’t apologize or refuse to correct themselves, will feel Min’s wrath of fury!
Min is tired of having to hide who they are, and being treated with disrespect by others. They have given up the idea that everyone has to like them. Some people are just assholes, who are not worth your time. Min is nice and fun to everyone, unless the person is not nice to them, then they will give the bitch-fight back twice as hard.
They cannot wait to start their new life on Planet Mars. Even their current life on the ship is way better than life was back in Hamilton, doing research at McMaster, in a very straight, cis male dominated environment. Life has always been a challenge for them.
The idea of creating a new world for people like Min, to be free to be who they are, and express themselves freely without judgment or social consequences, this is the most exciting thing in the universe. They never imagined this could be possible when they were growing up. But they were always fascinated by space.
Now they are getting to live out their dream / fantasy of being like the non-binary alien characters from another planet. All Min’s sex from now on, will be alien sex. How cool is that?! It’s like Min is going to be living inside their favourite book series by Octavia E. Butler, but for real.
Nobody is going to ruin this for Min, NOBODY!! They are going to finally change Alex’s mind about his gender issues, or he will just have to GO! Because this planet is going to be Min’s planet!… Ok Max’s planet too… And also Lee and Star… But mostly MIN’S PLANET!