Day 6: Plague Life (Sat March 21, 2020)
It’s almost a bit of a relief to know that I probably have COVID-19. I have it, I’ve done a week of it, and it’s not better yet, but it hasn’t really gotten too much worse. It will be over in a matter of time, two weeks, maybe three and I don’t have to worry so much about it anymore. I don’t need to worry about getting it, I don’t need to suffer over the “what if’s” and the “oh no’s,” I’m just sitting with the “what’s so.”
I have the virus, it’s not pleasant, but it will not kill me, and I just have to do my job of eating healthy, taking care of myself and staying put. I have the best excuse ever to be lazy, play all kinds of online board games with friends, binge watch my fav series and movies, and eat snacks in bed all day.
My finances are a mess and it’s only going to get worse, but I’m not alone, I’m in the middle of a global pandemic that will destroy most people’s finances. I’m not a failure, I’m just like everybody else, I’m going through some shit. And, If anything, I’m more prepared to handle this than most. I have a lot of experience living hand to mouth, making every dollar stretch, and not knowing when or where the next paycheck will come from.
I’ve gotten out of more debt than this before in a relatively short period of time, after getting through the rough patch I was going through, and I can do it again. I know I have the skills to overcome this hardship because I have done it before.
On the social side of things, I have been in touch with and been having regular conversations with a bunch of people I haven’t made enough time for lately. I have had people in my life reaching out to me and asking me if there is anything they can do for me. People who want to help, people sending money, food, cleaning and medical supplies.
My parents are offering to help me pay my rent until things get sorted out with my roommate. My aunt is going to pick up some groceries for me tomorrow, after she leaves work, watering the plants at Spadina House & Gardens. It’s not too far from where I live, so it wouldn’t be that far out of her way, and it’s good timing because I could use a few things. My pre-plague groceries and supplies are running low.
I can see that my situation is not the worst, it’s not the best, and it’s certainly not the worst. I am not alone, there are lots of people looking for things to do, and re-thinking their lives right now. People are finding new and creative ways to be with each other. I joined an app called House Party, which is like an online chat room where you can FaceTime with a group of people all at once and even play games together. It’s becoming popular during these plague times.
I’ve stopped worrying about what every sensation means, it means I have COVID-19, that’s it, end of story. I’ve stopped being concerned about whether or not I will be able to find a roommate, or if my current roommate and her boyfriend will stay or go on April 1st and if my new elderly roommate will come or not on April 1st. The issue hasn’t been resolved, I’ve just stopped worrying about it.
I had a conversation with my future roommate’s daughter today, and told her the whole situation and she really got where I was coming from. She is pregnant and that’s why grandma is coming to Toronto from snowbirding in Guatemala, for a few months, to be nearby and help her daughter take care of her newborn. Her daughter was understanding, and patient. She appreciated my concern for her, and her mother’s health and safety.
Later she let me know that she found a place for her mother to stay for her entire 14 day quarantine when she lands in Toronto. It’s a single unit airbnb so she won’t have to share a bathroom or kitchen with anyone. This would give me an extra week of healing time, and cleaning time, before she comes. Enough time to do a really thorough cleaning too. And she can be at ease and in her own space to do her 14 days of isolation after travel.
Hopefully I’m better in time and she can come to stay for the rest of April onward, and if not, we will take it from there. We can reevaluate next week once grandma is settled in and I have some idea where I’m at with my healing. One day at a time.
Day 7: Making Plague & Post-Plague Plans (Sun March 22, 2020)
The fog has been lifted a bit today. I can breathe a little easier. The two extra strength nighttime Tylenol cold and flu pills I took before bed last night really helped open up my chest and let me get a really good night’s sleep. I very much needed that. And I woke up feeling slightly more fresh. Like a couple of bricks have been lifted off my chest.
The fog in my brain has cleared a bit too, and I feel able to think about something other than my current plague. I feel able to strategize, make plans and think about the future. To a time when I will no longer be sick.
I had an online House Party drinking game night with some of my younger sisters bridesmaid friends and their other friends. I crashed the party actually. Most of them had no idea who I was, and they loved it! I kept them super entertained. They were especially impressed when they pulled the card “drink if you have ever made a girl cum before” and I said “oh yeah I could finish my drink on that one.” HA!
I made myself a hot whiskey for the occasion, in the style that this little old lady taught me, when I was bartending in Ireland. This was back in the spring of 2006, when I just finished university and did nine months traveling Europe. Yes, I know it’s not all that healthy to drink, I’m sick, and I should just be drinking herbal tea, drinking alcohol is dehydrating, etc. But get off me judgy! I hydrate all day long, and there are a lot of things in a hot whisky that are lovely and healing in the way the Irish do it.
The recipe is: a couple of shots of whiskey Irish, a spoonful of honey, a slice of fresh lemon stabbed with 5 or 6 whole cloves, tossed into a coffee mug and filled with hot water. Yum!
It really did the trick actually, that one cup really soothed my cough and got me happy and relaxed, laughing with a group of friends and strangers. Then the cold and flu meds before bed kicked in and I was golden! Slept like the dead and didn’t wake up until nearly 1 pm in the afternoon. It did me a world of good. Today I feel more like a human again.
So I’m trying to make more plans with friends to hang out on the House Party app and do crafts together, catch up with them, and play board games online with them more. I’m also going to start working on my website and start publishing some weekly blog posts. I’ve been saying I will do that for over a year and it hasn’t happened yet.
When I recover from this maybe I’m going to be immune to it, so maybe it will be less risky for me to be out and dealing with the public. Perhaps I will get a job at a grocery store. Or maybe doing something clerical at one of the COVID test centres. Anything to get me active and doing something that has me feel like I have purpose.
I’m going to work on my series ideas and start writing some screenplays. I’m going to start to have more structured days like I was starting to create before I got the Coronavirus. I’m going to start doing yoga every day. I’m going to make some healthier meals and snacks. Maybe I’ll even do some baking. I haven’t really made time for that in a long while. Tomorrow, I’ll start all that tomorrow.