Day 2: Self-Quarantine (Tues March 17, 2020)
I’m feeling a little better this morning. Not all better, but not as bad as yesterday. My temperature is all over the map though and it’s hard to tell if it’s really fluctuating that much or if my thermometer is just faulty. I get different readings even doing it one right after the other.
At one point today it went all the way up to 37.69, when I was cooking in front of the hot stove and felt really overheated and went and checked my temp. But that’s just because I was cooking right? Should that affect my internal body temperature that much though? I didn’t think it should.
Anyway it’s back down 36.79 now, so that’s good. Maybe because I ate dinner and had some vitamin C drink mix in water before checking it? How does this work exactly? Anyway I don’t feel like I’m dying. I do get a pain in my chest from breathing now and then, but not too often. I have a dry dull ache at the back of my throat that isn’t really sore but maybe just not feeling quite normal. I feel pressure in my chest.
I wish there was some easy way to test myself and know if this is COVID-19 or not. It’s not really bad enough to bother the emergency medical system with, but I would like to know. I hope they start sending out self test kits soon.
Also, I would like to know what’s gonna happen for freelancers like me. I am already on Ontario Works Financial Assistance, I can’t get EI, I’m not eligible, and my OW alone is not enough to cover expenses. I’m maxed on my credit card trying to cover things as it is, and now I can’t work because of being sick, and the film industry shutting down. I was just about to finally start working again this spring and now this.
Just filled out a bunch of deal memos last weekend at an orientation, and was about to start some Location LSP work on a bunch of shows. Between that and finding a production coordinator who would be willing to hire me as an Office PA even though I don’t drive, or permit me as a 2nd APC, I was going to finally have my foot in the door with both IATSE 411 and the DGC by the end of this season.
Now my 14 day quarantine is looking more like a year long quarantine at this rate, because this won’t be dealt with completely until at least the fall. And by then the industry will be shutting down for winter again. It will be another winter without work before I can get back on track with my career goals and even begin to get out of debt again.
I know I’m not the only one in this situation. There are others, many in my industry and in other industries too. Many with even further to fall than I have. Many with more mouths to feed than I. There are so many things to think about that I don’t even know what to do first. And I’m exhausted.
I can feel myself falling back into some old bad habits of being unproductive. Not going for walks, just playing on my phone and iPad. Not getting any work done on my website. Am I just using this as an excuse to be very lazy and step back a few weeks from the recent progress I had made with my career, health and fitness? I was finally becoming more active and getting work in place for the spring and summer so that I can get out of debt. But I can barely keep my eyes open or think straight.
I don’t want to let this happen again. It’s not good for me, I know where this leads. It leads to avoiding and giving up. I need to set goals and work towards them. Tomorrow, I give my word to that, I will do better tomorrow. I will get another good night’s sleep, and then tomorrow I will focus on my stuff that needs to get done. I will not just spend the whole day playing games, being lazy on the couch and taking naps. I’ll feel better tomorrow.
Day 3: Self-Quarantine (Weds March 18, 2020)
My temperature doesn’t seem to be getting better or worse, it just hovers around the 37.3 mark sometimes going down slightly and sometimes going up. I’m not using any Tylenol for it because I want to be able to monitor it and know if it starts to go up drastically all of a sudden.
I know I don’t feel well. I’m tired. Sometimes I feel light headed and like I might faint as I close my eyes to blink. My breathing is not right, there is rasping, which I have with my asthma, bronchitis that I often get, or pneumonia that I have had a couple of times. Sometimes I have pain in my lungs when I try to take a deep breath in, and then I’m coughing. Not as sharp as the pain when I had asthma attacks as a child, but similar enough to that feeling that I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on. It must be my lungs that are the problem. It must be my asthma.
We got some good news from the government today, help is coming. For those affected by this outbreak who cannot work because of being sick or having to care for someone and not being able to get EI because they are self employed and don’t get paid sick days. These people will be getting the Emergency Care Benefit, $450/ week for up to 15 weeks starting in early April. With something comparable available for those who are not necessarily ill, but who have been laid off or can’t work, but do not qualify for EI, this is called the Emergency Support Benefit.
I called my social assistance case worker to find out if he knows if I could be eligible for this additional assistance, even though I’m already on OW at the moment. For me the OW doesn’t even cover the cost of my rent and food for the month, at around $700/month. Not to mention other essential expenses like my internet and cell phone.
I have to supplement this support money with side gigs, so that I can keep my head above water. And, when I take on that side work, the amount I can collect in assistance gets lower, so I often have to put expenses on my credit card, during these winter periods when the industry shuts down. I have tried to find other seasonal work for the winter months, but there really isn’t anything that is a good fit for my skills and experience, also it would have to be something that’s also seasonal, allowing me to go back to production in the spring, summer and fall months.
My other problem has been that I don’t have a driver’s license so I can’t get work as an Office PA, so that has stopped me from being able to join the union as a Production Coordinator. So I’m stuck working on Tier F and non-union shows which don’t pay as well and are often sketchy, unreliable. Being non-union means that I don’t have security, no benefits and people often take advantage, asking far more of a person than is healthy or reasonable. If I could get into the union, I could make more, save more and then I could afford to be off in the winter months without assistance.
So I get a hold of my case worker, and he has no idea what I’m talking about at all, lol! He didn’t even know about the announcement. He hadn’t heard the press conference, being at work at the time, but I’m really glad that I called him because he said that they were all being sent home at the end of this week to self isolate. So, this was my last chance to speak with him before he becomes unavailable for the foreseeable future.
Perhaps that means that those of us on OW, will get this last payment at the end of this month that’s being processed this week, and then we move on to this other Emergency Benefit once it starts up in April? He said that might be the case. I told him to take care of himself and stay healthy.
He’s a really sweet man and he takes really good care of his self-employed clients. Well it’s like he thinks of us as clients anyway. He doesn’t treat us as lazy, good-for-nothing dependents on government money. And it’s interesting, a really high number of people he works with are in the production industry. Perhaps a sign that there is something going on that’s bigger than me.
So, I’m maxed on my credit card, I’m in overdraft, and TD sent an email saying that people could call for financial help if they were being affected. I tried calling the phone number and it failed several times. I don’t think the number actually works anymore. I’m not the only one calling them. I’m not the only one with a maxed out credit card, who needs to buy groceries for themselves and their family to get through a two week quarantine.
I set about the work letting people know this news, maybe it will help ease some people’s minds. It eases mine to have something to do. Making the calls and sending messages. I call my mom to tell her what’s going on.
It was a short but good call with my mom. Although things are not great at the moment, we seem to both be dealing with it pretty well, all things considered. Especially since we both deal with depression and anxiety. Knowing that my mom is doing ok, and having a laugh with her, was such a relief. My dad hasn’t even noticed that anything is different, lol! He’s been hermitting all his life, and he was currently drilling holes in the wall to install some bookshelves that he built in the basement when I called. My mom and I laughed about that too.
Then I went out for a walk around the block to get some fresh air and exercise that I dearly needed. I’ve been cooped up too much and haven’t done any physical exercise since the hike we did on the weekend. That was the day before I woke up sick and started this quarentien. I think I’m allowed to go outside for a walk, so long as I don’t go into any buildings and don’t get close to anyone, right? Well no one has told me otherwise.
So I go for a short walk around the block. It was good to get out, although it was a bit creepy. Very few people out walking in the streets. People with a few groceries on their way home, some people walking their dogs. Everyone avoiding one another, as they go about their business. A nice Italian man smiles and says hello to me, as he walks past me with my mask on, that was really nice. I said hello back and nodded my head towards him, as I passed him at a safe distance away. We are all just doing what we can.